Monday, February 28, 2005
* Make the ceremony 30 minutes long and then just show Cheers reruns for the next few hours. At least the stars could spend more time getting drunk and making fools out of themselves at the after party.
* Combine the Oscars, the Grammys, the Tonys, the Espy's the Golden Globes, and the People's Choice Awards into one long night...that way we get the silly "look at us, we're so great" awards night out of the way. Maybe Bono from U2 could host and we could make it a crappy night all around.
* Require all attendees to wear the same outfit, an IZOD polo shirt and a pair of khaki Dockers. Kind of a business casual event. This will end the pointless "Who are you wearing" carpet walk beforehand..It will now be universally "This is the J.C. Penny collection."
* Ban anyone from coming that has had plastic surgery. I bet the two guys left will put on quite a show.
* Ban any movie staring Morgan Freeman in which he is a detective that just wants to finish up this last case before retiring...this should free up some space.
* As the ceremony begins just do a blanket thank you to God and the academy..this will cut down on speech times.
* Take away the all you can eat buffet before so that Michael Moore will stay home...maybe he can finish up that movie about how Bush is a nazi because he once was seen in Germany and also has watched a movie about Hitler. That will be a good one!
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Saturday, February 26, 2005
His name is Dennis Rader. That's the face of evil.
UPDATE: Now BTK is being charged with possibly 2 more murders...one of which happened on Rader's block.
Friday, February 25, 2005
* Coffee is gross. (real fact)
* If you are ever arrested by the police and the show COPS happens to be filming, there are some steps that need to be followed...first off make sure that you immediately take off your shirt, secondly make sure that when they puts the cuffs on you that you scream that it hurts, lastly when they place you in the cop car try and kick out the window with your feet.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
A German opinion writer named Claus Christian Malzahn wrote this piece yesterday asking the question: Could George W. Bush be right? And I think he makes a great comparison of Bush's speech this week in Germany to Reagan's famous Berlin wall speech in 1987. Bush proposed this week that Germans and all Europeans take a wider role in the reformation of the middle east area. A reformation that would attempt to make Democracies out of tyranny, a feat that most Europeans scoff at. In 1987 Reagan was torn apart in the opinion pieces following his speech telling Gorbachev to "Tear down this wall", speaking of course of the wall that divided East and West Germany. No one believed that it was possible. Yet it happened, maybe not solely because of Reagan but it's doubtful that it would have happened without him. Bush was very Reaganesque this week in his speeches delivered across Europe.
Will Europe finally realize that in order to have peace in the world sometimes you have to have war? Will Europeans finally realize that the future is more important than the past and the present? Will Europeans finally come to grips with the fact that after they die people will come after them and that our actions now will make or break them?
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Monday, February 21, 2005
People I don't fully trust:
* Overly tan sorority girls -- I trust sorority girls, I trust girls with a heavy tan...for some reason I find overly tan sorority girls to be untrustworthy. Something about them conjures up images of girls that break guys hearts and drink too much and then never apologize for puking in your car.
* Guys that own their own pool cue stick -- These guys are just scary. I'm not talking about the ones that own a pool table at home. These are the guys that play pool at smoky pool halls until 2 am. Somehow they just don't seem to fit into society fully and pool is the outlet for their rebellion. And since pool has no exercise value whatsoever they generally are overweight. Also their El Camino has Burger King Whopper wrappers strewn about the backseat and floor.
* Men who have a pony tail and wear a trenchcoat -- These guys are the often the ones that are just waiting to get some kind of anti-society rogue militia started up with the neighbor guy who still lives in his parents basement. Also sometimes they themselves live in their parents basement.
* Women who are into WWF wrestling -- Ok, this is not as much untrustworthy as it is just sad. It's conceivable that some males might be into this stuff, I mean men are easily swayed by some pretty stupid stuff. But for the female gender to choose watching facade wrestling as a past time is just wrong. These women probably have what looks to be a mullet with really long bangs in the front. And they probably have or have recently owned an Aerosmith shirt. I've always told people that when the WWF is in town for a show, that's the best night to go shopping at Walmart....less of a crowd, I think they send half the employees home that night.
* Men who have a pony tail, wear a trenchcoat, and own their own pool cue stick -- These are the most dangerous men in the world. If you see one...run!
Sunday, February 20, 2005
The House Policy Committee's 2005 Republican Freedom Calendar offers 365 examples of GOP support for women, blacks, and other minorities, often over Democratic objections. Among its highlights:
- "To stop the Democrats' pro-slavery agenda, anti-slavery activists founded the Republican party, starting with a few dozen men and women in Ripon, Wisconsin on March 20, 1854," the calendar notes. "Democratic opposition to Republican efforts to protect the civil rights of all Americans lasted not only throughout Reconstruction, but well into the 20th century. In the south, those Democrats who most bitterly opposed equality for blacks founded the Ku Klux Klan, which operated as the party's terrorist wing."
White supremacist worked club in hand with Democrats for decades:
- May 22, 1856: Two years after the Grand Old party's birth, U.S. Senator Charles Sumner (R., Mass.) rose to decry pro-slavery Democrats. Congressman Preston Brooks (D., S.C.) responded by grabbing a stick and beating Sumner unconscious in the Senate chamber. Disabled, Sumner could not resume his duties for three years
- July 30, 1866: New Orleans' Democratic government ordered police to raid an integrated GOP meeting, killing 40 people and injuring 150.
Republicans also have supported legislation favorable to blacks, often against intense Democratic headwinds:
- In 1865, Congressional Republicans unanimously backed the 13th Amendment, which made slavery unconstitutional. Among Democrats, 63 percent of senators and 78 percent of House members voted: "No."
- February 28, 1871: The GOP Congress passed the Enforcement Act, giving black voters federal protection.
These are all examples directly from the above opinion piece by Deroy Murdock. Keep in mind that democrats did do some good for civil rights...But should we allow them to pretend that they are the ones that care for minorities when for so long they tried to hinder the cause of freedom for people of all color?
Saturday, February 19, 2005
* The Nissan 240sx is a great car that never ever has any problems. There is absolutely no chance that it will catch fire and kill everyone in the car.
* Contrary to popular belief, if your vehicle begins to slide on ice do not turn the wheel into the direction you are sliding...most experts agree that the best thing to do is turn up the radio really loud, close your eyes, and pretend it isn't happening..cause you are screwed man.
Friday, February 18, 2005
I want them to go a step further and begin to make intelligent-design a part of the ciriculum along side the teaching of evolution. Those that push the pro-evolution/atheist agenda are absolutely threatened by the fact that their years of brainwashing might have to have competition from an equally plausible(more even) theory of our origin. The claim that intelligent design promotes a religion is absolutely ridiculous. All it says is that the universe is so complex that it shows signs of deliberate design.. It makes no claim to who this "designer" is.
This only goes to prove that that evolutionists have created an agenda that is so hostile to God that even hinting any questions against evolution will send them in to a tailspin of rage. And yet they generally claim to have no agenda.
Evolution is a theory no matter how hard they try to claim it to be fact. It is not rocket science or mathematics that can be recreated in a lab or on paper. It is guesswork and assumption...to have such anger at the prospect of placing a sticker that says "this is a theory" on text books...is very telling. Teach evolution...but don't lie about it.
I have so much more to say about this but I need to keep these little rants and ramblings short. I'll be back!
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
* Technically Ted Kennedy is not an alcoholic, he's a scotch-a-holic.
* The early Aztecs did not use shrunken heads as currency, but they did trade shrunken heads for goods and services.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Anyway, I found this great article containing FAQ(that's Frenquently Asked Questions for those of you that just came out of a 30 year coma) about the current retirement and social security situation. It's a much needed guide for those of us that aren't all that wise when it comes to government retirement programs. It might be a good one to bookmark.
By the way, even the thought that anyone believed that we could trust the government with managing our retirement money makes me think that they weren't as wise and smart back then as we give them credit for.
Monday, February 14, 2005
I think that racism is often kept alive by those that constantly still think they are getting screwed by the man, and I have a problem with that. But I do believe that if any race deserves a month of history recognition it's the blacks. Up until 50 years ago blacks were treated like cattle no matter where they were in the world. And they offered so much culture that we so selfishly ignored since the beginning of time.
I used to scoff at "Black history Month", thinking it was only furthering bigotry and racism... But now I think it's a time we can actually reflect on a group of people that weren't even considered people for generations. Sam Cooke and Ray Charles refused to do 2 segregated shows at tour stops, one for the whites and one for the blacks, which was the law in the south, this alone may have changed race relations more than Martin Luther King and Malcom X combined because white people were as big of fans of both singers as were the blacks.
You probably aren't going to see me at a King lecture, but I will definitely be listening to some Otis Redding or Etta James when you do see me. I admire the contributions these and many other singers offered the modern culture. A culture that desperately needs another Sam Cooke to counter the rap culture that now dominates and "speaks" for the Black community. Cooke and Redding died way too young.
I'd like to further add that the myths and outright lies that the left have heaped upon conservatives concerning race relations are coming back to bite them. A basic study will show you that percentage-wise more Republicans than democrats voted for the Civil Rights Act. Republicans helped shape the changes that would help African Americans become full citizens. Democrats often feel the need to lie to the black community in order to keep them tightly in their socialist grasp. It's sad.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
I just discovered Howie Day not too long ago and I couldn't decide if I really wanted to buy his debut album or not. Well long story short, I did, and it is excellent. Reminds me of Coldplay without all the production. It's just a relaxing yet uplifting set of songs...Great songwriting.
Go pick it up. Of course what do I know?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Dear Mr. Stigall,
Your blog means so much to me. It is a breath of fresh air to read it as I awake in the morning. Of course I don't get much fresh air here where I am, my cell mate Ahkmar smells like roasted goat and feet.
One blog post I appreciated was the one about Patricia Heaton being a born-again Christian. It's refreshing to see such a lamb among the wolves of Hollywood. Her career really took off after Everybody Loves Raymond became a big hit. Unfortunately we only get a couple of stations down here in my undisclosed-location jail cell. One station is called TMN which of course is The Mohammed Network it's mostly Three's Company reruns, in Arabic of course. And then the only other station we get is The Learning Channel. The bright side is I learned how to spruce up the cell by watching reruns of Trading Spaces. You'd be surprised what a well placed doily and some satin drapes will do with a small room. And by the way, that Paige Davis is a fox, Whoot wooo!
The Americans haven't treated me too bad. But I do get sick of them putting me on a dog leash and making Ahkmar and I build a naked pyramid. What animals! The food isn't so bad either but why do they insist on putting ketchup on everything; I like my broiled rat plain, I told them that thirty times.
Anyway I better get going. Dude, seriously, keep up the great blogging, It truly is a great site.
....Oh I almost forgot...Death to you. Death to George Bush(both of them). And death to America.
Stay cool man,
What a class act all around!
Friday, February 11, 2005
Thursday, February 10, 2005
The U.S. military is the best of the best. These guys will do the job come hell or high water. It is absolutely the truth that if you run from a Marine you will only die tired. They train harder than any other force in the world and they've earned the right to do what they do. They go through absolute detail to make sure that no innocent lives are harmed...Often giving up their lives to make sure of this. They have more power than any other military force in the world and abuse it the least.
When these squirmy weenie little liberals start showing hatred for the military, I hope all of us will get right back in their face and defend our troops with gusto. The only reason they are even able to complain and insult the military is because the military gave them that right.
And if you are reading this and are in the military or have served in any branch of the service, including the national guard, THANK YOU...You have supporters who will NOT be deterred by the ones that hate. Bring it on!
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
* He hates it when people insist on harmonizing the last line of "Happy birthday to you" yet insists on being the guy that adds the "And Many More...." at the end....Everyone hates that guy.
* Once in the middle of math class he sat for about 1 minute before he realized that his nose had been bleeding all over his shirt. In order to cover up the embarrassment and to avoid having people think something serious was wrong, he shouted loudly.."Oh man, my nose is bleeding!" then he got up and ran out of the room. Everyone laughed and he got in trouble for disrupting the class.
* Until he was 17 people would still think he was a female on the phone because of his high voice...Usually to avoid explaining it to them he would just pretend he was a female if there was any confusion. What a handsome lady he was!
* As a very young child he thought that when a couple had a baby they had no choice on what race the baby was going to be...He is literally quoted by his parents as saying "Dad, when I was born did you think I was going to be Chinese?"
* He once worked for 2 days at UPS.. The job was so physically demanding and he was so out of shape that he actually threw up on the first day in the employee bathroom from heat exhaustion. Did I mention that he is still out of shape and that even thinking about UPS now makes him tired?
* In high school he was in the Madrigal ensemble. Once when they were singing at a popular mall a part came up where he was supposed to step forward from the group and sing a solo part. He forgot the words and just stepped forward and hummed. He was never given a solo part again.
Pt IV to follow soon.....
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
"I think the bottom line is that God reached down in time and provided us with a way of reaching Him, which is through Himself in the person of Christ, and that the act of the crucifixion and the resurrection was something that was necessary for the whole world to be able to be reconciled to God," Heaton explained.
"I know personally that my only hope for living in eternity with God is the work that was done on the cross," she added.
And she gives Christianity more than just lip service. This article at www.religionjournal.com, which contains the above quote, explains where Heaton's faith comes from and how she is taking a stand for life in an industry that portrays morality as farce.
Did I mention that she's also a very attractive woman?
Monday, February 07, 2005
The game itself is always a let down. I get sick of the cheesy bios during the pre-game and the most obvious commentary by washed up former players. "I think if they get the ball into the endzone more times than the other team than they will win this one for sure." Oh really.... Gee I never thought that that could even have a bearing on the game!
If you are going to have a fun season ender to pro-sports go with baseball, hockey or basketball. You get to see the best of the best battle it out for up to 7 games until the champion emerges. That's called climax. It's just fun seeing who can endure the other for that time. Football ends on a fluke. In the Superbowl the entire championship can be lost or gained by the tiniest mistake...A fluke. It's not as much skill as it is just chance.
Football is fun. It's rough and it's filled with talented guys, it's just that their anti-climactic finish to the season is a little disappointing.
There is my Superbowl analysis. I am sparticus!
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Saturday, February 05, 2005
was as if God himself had painted it
Before my very eyes on a cloudy canvas;
The red and yellow filled every inch of
My mind like a beautiful fire;
The air was as quiet and cool as
A drink of water on an August afternoon;
Each breath I took in soothed my senses and then my soul;
On nights like these you wonder
Why you've ever questioned God;
A million artists with a million years
Couldn't recreate an inch of this;
And then suddenly like a light switch,
One, two, and than ten flickers of light
Fill every inch of the night sky.
Soon within my vision lay a thousand stars;
The distant lights of the city fade
Like an ember, and the sounds of automobiles
And planes quiet to absolute silence;
My focus is upward.
My thoughts no longer race around inside my
Head but are now still and gracefully motionless;
It feels as though I'm gazing into the very face of God;
For a flicker in time I feel complete peace;
Tomorrow is coming and along with it
The stress and faceless thoughts;
Not a worry though, for each day has it's evening,
A chance to witness the spectacle once again;
I'll be there;
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Friday, February 04, 2005
Thursday, February 03, 2005
* Bush promises to eradicate reality TV and Mtv by 2009.
* Bush proposes a plan to tell the world that the WMD's were moved to Syria, plus Syria is building a nuke and that we have proof of this...then we bomb Iran and pretend like it was an accident and that the person in charge looked at the wrong map on mapquest and then we make it look like we are real sorry to Iran and we will send them a bouquet just as soon as we bomb the real Syria...
* Bush should have announced U2's Bono as the new secretary of overhyped music and bad hair.
* Napoleon Dynamite makes an appearance at the Speech..When Bush announces his name and thanks him for coming he could stand up and yell "let's friggin privatize social security..GOSH"
* Bush announces that the new official past time is no longer baseball but beating democrats in elections and seeing which ones we can make cry first.
* Bush acknowledges and makes an attempt to show no had feelings between Dan Rather and himself.."But unfortunately", he continues "we just found out that Mr. Rather is an illegal alien and he has been involved in some terrorist activity" He then pulls out the "documents" to prove it.
* Bush proposes that scotch will no longer be served in the capitol cafeteria..Ted Kennedy collapses.
* Bush announces that The State Of The Union from here on out will be pay-per-view only and will be rated M for Mature.
Maybe I should call Bush and suggest some of this stuff for next year. Nah..maybe I'll just text message him.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Dan, we hardly knew ye!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
* My own party is the party of tax breaks and small government..Yet the Bush administration and congress are spending like drunken sailors. Bad! Bad party! (Tell me I don't criticize my own party...hah!)
* Americans, mostly left-wingers, who preach abortion on demand, want to be called pro-choice...then they shun any deviation from their strictly liberal mindset. Pro-choice only for their wacky ideas about morality and its boundaries, all on top of the fact that they are denying choice of those that are to be born.
* I find it impossible to sit still through any kind of lecture, lesson, or Sunday school class and I often come and go. Yet I find it rude sometimes when someone used to get up during a lecture in school. Ironic, hypocritical and silly. But I'm me..Does that justify it? No, I'm asking...Does it?
* Frank Black was white but Barry White was black...I'm confused.
* I scoff at anyone being addicted to cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or any other vices. Yet I am horribly addicted to nose spray. You'd think my nose would give me ample room to breathe. But smelling pie from a mile away is a plus!
Man, I was hard on myself in this post...I have to get back to being hard only on others.
Update: Since I posted this, a news story has come out that is a step towards lessening out my criticism of the Bush administration. An aide has reported that Bush may put a freeze on new spending. What a novel idea.