Saturday, March 31, 2007

Bush's Eco-Friendly Ranch Vs. Gore's Liberal Gas Guzzling Mansion

Fact: Al Gore is a lying liberal hypocrite.

Check this out...(Verified by Snopes)
HOUSE # 1:

A 20-room mansion (not including 8 bathrooms) heated by natural gas. Add on a pool (and a pool house) and a separate guest house all heated by gas. In ONE MONTH ALONE this mansion consumes more energy than the average American household in an ENTIRE YEAR. The average bill for electricity and natural gas runs over $2,400.00 per month. In natural gas alone (which last time we checked was a fossil fuel), this property consumes more than 20 times the national average for an American home. This house is not in a northern or Midwestern “snow belt,” either. It’s in the South.

HOUSE # 2:

Designed by an architecture professor at a leading national university, this house incorporates every “green” feature current home construction can provide. The house contains only 4,000 square feet (4 bedrooms) and is nestled on arid high prairie in the American southwest. A central closet in the house holds geothermal heat pumps drawing ground water through pipes sunk 300 feet into the ground. The water (usually 67 degrees F.) heats the house in winter and cools it in summer. The system uses no fossil fuels such as oil or natural gas, and it consumes 25% of the electricity required for a conventional heating/cooling system. Rainwater from the roof is collected and funneled into a 25,000 gallon underground cistern. Wastewater from showers, sinks and toilets goes into underground purifying tanks and then into the cistern. The collected water then irrigates the land surrounding the house. Flowers and shrubs native to the area blend the property into the surrounding rural landscape.

HOUSE #1 (20 room energy guzzling mansion) is outside of Nashville,Tennessee. It is the abode of that renowned environmentalist (and filmmaker) Al Gore.

HOUSE #2 (model eco-friendly house) is on a ranch near Crawford, Texas. Also known as “the Texas White House,” it is the private residence of the President of the United States, George W. Bush.
The "truth" ain't all that convienent, is it Al??

Friday, March 30, 2007

Don McLean

One of my favorite artists of all time is Don McLean. He is best known for American Pie. That song is awesome, but there are so many deep tracks by him that are even better. "Crossroads", "Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)", "And I Love You So", "Empty Chairs, "Babylon", I could go on and on.

This post has no point really. I did see that Don McLean will be in Des Moines, IA in August, so I am planning on trying to head up there to see him in concert. Should be a blast.

That's all really. Well.....



......bye.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

This May Sound Stupid

French toast is neither French nor is it toast. Discuss.

Remember that one guy? He was hilarious! Remember when he said that thing when we were outside of that place we were at? Dude...good times!

Is it wrong that I often go jogging in the park wearing a spandex uni-tard and ankle weights?

Scientests have recently concluded that the worst movie of all time is most likely Over The Top. That's the movie about an arm wrestling competition starring Sylvester Stallone. When asked why scientists have come to that conclusion, they responded..."Think about it, it's a movie about arm wrestling, and it has Sylvester Stallone in it."

Ever accidently bite your tongue? It hurts soo bad! Really it's the only time that I get so mad that I want to just run out of my apartment and just start punching people in the face.

I wonder how close O.J. is to finding the real killer?

Do you Sudoku? It's how the Japanese are slowly taking over the world.

I'm not gonna tell you kids again, KEEP your soccer ball out of my tulips!
....just practicing for when I'm old.

I wish we would invade Greenland. That would give the Marines Special Op's Ice Skating Unit a chance to finally show what they're made of.

Arbys is nasty... I was in the park walking my dog the other day and a guy came up to me in the park and grabbed my dog. He said you eat this Arby's beef'n'cheddar right now or I will kill your dog. I'm sure gonna miss the little fella.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Dumb: Caught On Video

If you want to be entertained, then watch the entirety of this video. It's hilarious. Don't miss the part where the woman takes a fake dive and pretends that she was pushed by the cop.

Why Not News? I'll tell you why...because making a mockery of yourself on camera, while entertaining, solves nothing for your cause and aren't exactly turning over any new ground there brainiac. If you look like an aging hippie, then shutting up would be your best form of protest. Classic video.(Video made by them with pride. Thanks!)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

This May Sound Stupid

I sing Piano Man every day in the shower.

If the guy who invented the cell phone were in front of me right now I wouldn't slap him right away. First I'd do that Three Stooges thing where I make him follow my hand up and down for a while, then I'd give him the standard double eye poke. If by chance he blocked the double eye poke with the vertical hand down the middle of the nose, that's when I'd come in with the slap.

I'll stop throwing my half filled soda out the window at the mechanics standing outside Jiffy Lube holding the signs when it stops being funny..Ya savvy?

I have always wanted to have one of those artists sketch my caricature at a fair or carnival, but you know what it's going to look like...Just a huge nose with a pair of shoes sticking out at the bottom. And that's just wrong.

Who's your daddy? No.. really....who is he?

When I was a young man I developed a severe kidney infection and was forced to have one of them removed. Thank goodness I was born with three.

My couch is falling apart at home and I am having to duct tape the rips and tears that are on it, which of course means I am one mayonaise sandwich away from just straight hardcore white trash. I have my NASCAR collectable plate on order...then it will be complete!

Tim is right, I'm way white trash...I have to fight every instinct inside of me not to wear a wife beater and a shower cap to Kmart.

I'm 27 years old and I still eat Lucky Charms.

I am just waiting for the day they make a magazine for avid nose spray users. Maybe it could be called "Nose Spray Afficianado" or maybe "The Nasal Times" either way I'm a subscriber.

Magicians are not impressive. Pulling a rabbit out of a hat...yawn. Now, pull a hat out of a rabbit and that might get my attention.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

And Now... A Random Joke

One day, a diver was enjoying the aquatic world 20 feet below sea level. He noticed a guy at the same depth he was, with no scuba gear on whatsoever.
The diver went below another 10 feet, but the guy joined him a minute later. The diver went below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joined him.

This confused the diver, so he took out a waterproof pad and pencil, and wrote, "Amazing! How are you able to stay this deep down without equipment?"

The guy took the pencil and pad, erased what the diver had written, and wrote, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Trapped In The Drive Thru

I am not a Weird Al fan. But this is hilarious. It will probably only be funny to you if you are familiar with R. Kelly's unintentionally silly Rap Opera "Trapped In The Closet". But if you have 11 minutes to spare, enjoy...

Trapped In The Drive-Thru

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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Looking Back To When I Looked Back

What has 2005 taught us....

* Never let your child sleep over at a ranch with a celebrity. Especially if that celebrity thinks he's peter pan.

* Ashlee and Jessica Simpson would sell their mother into slavery if it would earn them an extra dollar.

* Bono's Euro-mullet is a great comfort to many people.

* Reality shows will never have anything to do with reality.

* Even drugged out of his mind, Rush Limbaugh is smarter and more relevant than the leading democrats.

* Bush is Superman. Just go ahead and try and bring him down, it'll only make you look like a fool.

* If you're a woman, Oprah owns you. Fear her.

* Movies got much much dumber in 2005. All you have to do is put out a movie about two gay guys and you'll have yourself an academy award. I have one coming out about two gay librarians, the only question is on which shelf should I put my Golden Globe?

* Hollywood has lost any and all creativity.

* I miss Jimmy Stewart.

* Hillary Clinton believes in something called children's rights. That means that she thinks that as a parent you should be subject to your child. If they want to have an abortion at age 12 and not let you know...then who are you to say otherwise. And how dare you demand good grades of them.

* That same woman thinks she will be our next president. I think not.

* If you find a human finger in your Wendy's chili you might just be a winner. As if biting into a juicy digit weren't bonus enough!

* You can now get face transplants. You do realize that this means in 50 years everyone is going to look like Brad Pitt and Marilyn Monroe. I for one am leaning towards one of the Baldwin brothers.

* 1 in 4 British people are considered fat. That's quite a feat considering the food they eat over there. Now if we could only import some toothbrushes.

* Jimmy Carter is all up in everyone's biznass.

* Ronald Reagan owns you. He was the greatest president of the 20th century if not ever.

* Taco Bell makes new food products by simply rearranging beans, rice, and tortilla into different shapes...Brilliant!

* Truck stop bathrooms are a hotbed of nastiness.

* Bush can kill us all by changing weather patterns and causing floods, earthquakes, tsunamis, and certain bird flus of the Avian variety. Fear him.

* The democrats want us to lose in Iraq. They have no problem with deaths as long as it will increase their personal gain.

* New Orleans is not as buoyant as originally thought.

* Evolution and atheist activists are scared of any differing opinion. What they really fear is finding out what the purpose of life is. Their convience is at stake.

* Hollywood has lost any and all creativity.

* New York garage bands took over the music scene...Oh, a new band came out this week...let me guess, they sound exactly like The Strokes and Rolling Stone magazine says they are the next big thing...how predictable.


Ahh yes, I remember it well!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Best And The Brightest Among Us Protest The War

from Right Wing News...




We pretest the irak war what gorge bussh done gotted us into...ain't that right lenny!

Some more I found...





And then it's just fun to sit back and watch stuff like this happen...

Monday, March 19, 2007

Christians, Guns, and Drugs!

I am going to keep this short. It's often a trigger topic for debate among Christians.
Here's my two questions...

Should Christians own guns?

and

Should Christians take OTC or prescription drugs?

A lot of Christians who I have spoken with on this subject say that Jesus left us an example of only peace. He would be neither for guns, or the death penalty.

Check out this heated debate from a popular Christian forum.

The verse is used that I like to use to support my ownership of a gun...
Luke 22:36 Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.
You will hear lots of talk that Bible Scholars believe that the sword was not literal, and He actually meant The Word Of God. But how much did an OT cost back then that they were selling clothes to buy copies of it? And why wasn't Jesus upset that Peter had a sword in the first place? He chastised Peter for using it in that context, but not for owning it.
To me it's all Context, context, context.

Ok, now what about medicine...
I have been told by friends that taking medicine is ungodly and shows lack of faith. But yet.. I am a fan of several types of medicine...Some for allergies, some for when I get a mosquito bite...some for canker soars... And if I get the cancer, you can bet I will be a fan of anti-cancer meds.
Does this mean I have no faith in the healing power of Christ?

Of course it doesn't. I remember situations where deacons and elders layed hands on people with chronic illnesses and they were healed to the amazement of doctors. I remember having my faith enhanced by those experiences.
Here's my little thought on the situation. It's not much, but it means something to me.
Jesus healed so many people. Some just came and asked, and their faith healed them. Often he would just put His hands on them and they were as good as new. But I remember when a blind man came to Jesus. Jesus then spat on the ground, mixed the spit with mud, placed it on the mans eyes...and the man could see.
Jesus could have blinked and cured the man, he could have snapped his fingers and done it, he could have just thought it and made it so...But instead he made a medicine...granted, talk about the best pharmacist of all time, but still he did use foreign objects to pass on His miracle to the man.
We have forgotten know how much of a miracle it is to have breath, to have sight in the first place. If the Lord of Lords wants to use Alive Sinus and Cold to cure my flu symptoms..I'm not going to discount it as any less of a miracle then the very concept and gift of life itself.

Does that mean I should go out and get high on crystal meth and start shooting perceived enemies with a gun?

No. It's all about context.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Ravi Zacharias

I think it's important in life to have heroes. These aren't people we worship. These are people we look to for inspiration and advice. Ravi Zacharias is one of my heroes. His passion and ability to defend the faith are mind boggling. I can't think of any other speaker that grabs my attention and has me locked in like Dr. Zacharias. I'm still reading his book "Jesus Among Other Gods", It's brilliant.

Ravi is at his best when he walks into hostile territory. He has been to Harvard several times. He has been to more liberal schools then I can even name here He gives a lecture..and then get this, he opens up a Q&A and takes on some of the most hostile questions. He answers without flinching.
Here is a 15 minute segment of Q&A from his talk at Harvard... Listen here

Now if you don't mind I need to get back to the Tennessee game..Thank you so very much.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

This May Sound Stupid

People often ask me whether I prefer margarine or real butter. And do you know what I tell them... "Not now, we are at a funeral for goodness sake!"

I'm not scared of this Avian Bird Flu that is being hyped as a possible world wide killer. Why just today I saw a bird limping and I picked him up and took a bite. What's the big deal? Except for the fever and hallucinations I feel fine.

If you think about it, a fruit roll-up is actually just an edible kleenex.

If I could go back in time I'd go back to the day that the guy invented the cell phone and slap him in the face..."No! Bad inventor. Bad!"

I had a dream the other night that the Mushroom People elected me their president and then indicted me for revealing the name of a Mushroom undercover agent. No more watching CNN and eating PopRocks before bed!

Most TV news anchors take stage names. I decided that if I ever became a news anchor my name would be Chuck McGinnley. "Reporting live from this grizzley murder scene, Chuck McGinnley, ABC news, back to you Tina."

I walked into a spider web today and I almost went insane. I wonder if spiders sit off to the side just watching. When someone walks into their web it's high fives all around.

I checked one of my life's dreams off the list last night, I was Randy Travis' personal dressing room security guard at Central Christian...Honest. Now all I have left to check off the list is serve Lyle Lovett a Grand Slam Breakfast at Denny's and then I will have reached total enlightenment.

We as Americans are totally over-raising awareness for stuff. We've got people walking around with 19 rubber bands on their arm trying to make us aware of stuff. When your 20th band is to raise awareness for "phantom gall bladder syndrome" you know that you've crossed the line.

In the near future NASA is spending billions of dollars for another manned trip to the moon. When they get back all the astronauts are going to do is turn in a report that says there is still nothing on the moon. I could have told them that for 50 cents and a chicken salad sandwich.

There are sounds. Sounds outside my window late at night. I'm convinced it must be a ghost. Yet when I look down there all I see is a squirrel nibbling on an acorn. But is it a ghost squirrel?

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Things I Think About When I Can't Sleep

You know what I'm talking about. Things enter your mind when you can't sleep. It's dark, you have insomnia, and the thoughts start racing...

...I'm good at math, but not ping pong, I wonder if I'm half Asian...

...Am I the only one in the world right now listening to 'Things That Make You Go Hmm by C&C Music Factory?'...

...The first Vivian was so much better then the second one on Fresh Prince Of Bel Air...

...Beaver dams are really nothing more than sticks and debris if you really think about it hard...

...I wonder if Bill Cosby is wearing a sweater right now...

...I wish Denny's delivered, especially in the middle of the night...

...What would Lavern And Shirley Do?...

...I wonder if there was an un-aired episode of Leave It To Beaver where Wally accidentally killed a hobo, but the censors rejected it from ever being shown...

...If I do finally fall asleep, will the mushroom people in my dream be good or bad, and will they elect me their king again?...

...I have stupid bedtime thoughts...

...Not everything that pops into my head will be a good post on my blog...

...Zzzzzzz...

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

This May Sound Stupid

I thought of another invention... You know those baby backpacks that parents use to carry around their babies so their hands can be free. Well why not have a version that is actually a fanny pack. That's right, wear your child around your waist. I call it the Fanny Nanny™ Get yours today!

Would you rather be beat up in a dark ally by a bunch of girl scouts or beat up a girl scout in a dark ally?

I slap cows.

The doctor is always trying to get me to turn my head and cough. I'll turn my head, but I am NOT coughing...you got that doc? Now let me play with the tongue depressors or I'm walking out here...ya savvy?

Can you name the movie that this movie line comes from.... "Hello, How are you?"

Is it ok for one of Jerry's Kids to just pay for their purchases using the money in the collection jar next to the register?

My big question is this...Did Fred know that the big set of brontosaurus ribs was going to knock over the vehicle when the waitress at the carhop put it on the roof or did Barney just neglect to tell him that the automobile would become too top heavy at that moment? And where was the great Gazoo when you need him?

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit huffing paint.

Bob Loblaw is the best attorney I know.

I hate wasps so much. I think they are out to kill us all. They are waiting for the right moment and then they strike. That's why I spend my days finding wasps and punching them in the face...You like that Mr. wasp? Cause I'm gonna bring the hurt everytime! How you like me now?

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Another Silly Opinion On Ann Coulter

It seems everyone is just sure that Ann Coulter is done because of her latest joke. It's such a naive opinion. And it's wishful thinking projected by the leftists.
David Bauder, the tv writer for the AP wrote...
Ann Coulter has been a reliable name for years among people who plan television news shows — an attractive, articulate blonde conservative who's made a living lobbing verbal bombs.

Following her use of a gay slur about Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards this month during remarks to the Conservative Political Action Conference, some on TV are wondering whether her shelf life is expiring.
Like I said before I am not a an Ann Coulter apologist. But if you look at my last post you will see how easily the left manufactures a facade of offense. They didn't blink the first time. But now it's like taking a delayed dive in a sporting event. You want the ref to think a foul has taken place so you become an overactor and act like you've been wronged.
The left is taking a delayed dive here. Ann Coulter isn't going anywhere. The dems are crybabies. I like pizza. The end.

Friday, March 09, 2007

No One Said A Peep When She Said The "F" Word The First Time


Now we're supposed to be all shocked about the John Edwards thing? Give me a break. I think she might even be half right.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Regrets For Slavery

Walter E. Williams posted this brilliant commentary on the failure of white and black Americans to address the real issues that face black Americans today...
Both chambers of the Commonwealth of Virginia's General Assembly passed a resolution saying government-sanctioned slavery "ranks as the most horrendous of all depredations of human rights and violations of our founding ideals in our nation's history; and . . . the abolition of slavery was followed by . . . systematic discrimination, enforced segregation, and other insidious institutions and practices toward Americans of African descent that were rooted in racism, racial bias, and racial misunderstanding." The General Assembly also expressed regret for the "exploitation of Native Americans."

Isn't that nice? I agree that slavery was an abomination, but I'm going to be even more generous than Virginia's General Assembly. I regret the murder of an estimated 61 million people whom the former USSR executed, slaughtered, starved, beat or tortured to death. I also regret the Chinese government's slaughter of 45 million Chinese; Hitler's slaughter of 6 million Jews; the Khmer Rouge's murder of 2 million Cambodians; the half a million Ugandans murdered by Idi Amin's death squads; the million Hutus and Tutsis murdered in Rwanda's genocidal bloodbath; and slavery that still exists in the Sudan and Mauritania.

All of these, and many more, are horrible injustices at least as horrible as the slavery that existed in the U.S. But after all the regrets and apologies for injustices, what comes next? Let's examine Virginia's statement of regret with an eye toward what it might mean.

I can personally relate to the Virginia General Assembly's declaration. My great-grandparents were slaves in the Virginia cities of Chase City and Newport News. The General Assembly's statement of regret for slavery means absolutely nothing to me. If anything, it's nothing less than a cheap insult and capitulation of white delegates to black hustlers. Possibly, the whites who voted in support of the declaration were mau-maued into it or they felt guilt over our history of slavery. In any case, they should know that their actions mean little in dealing with the day-to-day plight of many black Virginians -- which has nothing to do with slavery.

The U.S. murder rate is 5.6 people per 100,000 of the population. In the Commonwealth of Virginia's capital, Richmond, where the General Assembly meets, the murder rate is 43 people per 100,000 of the population, making Richmond the city with the third-highest murder rate in the nation, according to a 2005 FBI report.

What about black education in Virginia? According to the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP), black education is a disgrace. In 2003, 51 percent of black eighth-graders scored below basic; 49 percent at or above basic; of these, only 11 percent scored proficient. For black fourth-graders, the scores were 34, 66 and 13 percent, respectively.
Read the rest

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Probably THE Best Music Video Of All Time

Also Weezer is one of the greatest bands of all time.


If you had to pick between U2 and Weezer, you'd pick Weezer every time...you just would. Don't lie!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Ann Coulter Uses The "F" Word


No not the one you are thinking of...


This week at a conservative speaking engagement Ann Coulter insinuated that John Edwards might be a tad feminine. Basically she called him a "faggot". First democrats feigned their usual shock. Then in a chain reaction the conservatives half-heartedly said it was in bad taste.
I personally think it would have been in bad taste... had their been any public perception that Johnathan Edwards was gay. I'm not going to remove my Ann Coulter link on my sidebar because Ann Coulter told an over-the-top joke. That's what she does. She is our sides answer to Michael Moore. She says things that we are all thinking, whether jokingly or not, and she does it to shock. I think it's entertaining to both read her words and watch the reaction.

Ok here comes a confession... I jokingly call my friends "faggots" a lot. It is something I would never call an actual gay person. Here's why people get so upset about that word... They try to associate as the same as using the "N" word.
Sex preference and race should never be lumped anywhere close to the same category. There is a movement to try to label homosexuals as "born that way" so that you have to classify it like race. But even then, as I have stated before... If they are truly "born that way" then it is one of the more cruel genetic defects. Homosexuality serves no purpose as to the continuation of life, which is the ultimate outcome of love. Or in the very least sexuality has another function other than pleasure. If people are born homosexuals than they are born with a defect that makes them think an abnormal relationship is normal..and on top of that "nature" would deliver the final consequence of not allowing the parts to even fit in any way (sorry to be so graphic). And in turn no chance of populating the earth.

Anyway, I said all that to say that the word faggot has become desensitized. It is slowly becoming a cultural norm. I don't recall ever hearing it bleeped on TV.

Other forms of this have become socially acceptable. I really don't know if I'd venture to come out and say that this gives us the go ahead to say them publicly, but it certainly belittles the impact of what the word means. Here are some examples..

Pregnant -- 60 years ago this word was not allowed on TV or radio. Now it is the standard way to describe "with child"

Crap -- This is simply a shortened word stemming from the name of the guy who invented the toilet. It's still considered a little crude in some circles, but I've heard more than one church elder use it freely out loud in public enviroments. It just doesn't have the same impact as it used to. I am NOT saying it is okay to use it freely..I honestly don't know, and I don't go around screaming it out loud. But it certainly doesn't have the impact that the "S" word has.

Butt -- I wasn't allowed to say this growing up. It was a crude word. Again it really seems to be the standard. I feel like a two year old if I say the word bottom in public.

That whole thing was a long winded way to say two things...
1. I confess to using the same word Ann Coulter used.. I use it jokingly with people I feel comfortable with.

2. Ann Coulter is gonna say these things... If you hadn't already abandoned Ann Coulter for other, way more shocking things she has said, then you probably aren't gonna leave her camp now. Some people either love to shock...or they just never learned when to shut up and when it's okay to joke. I often pick the wrong times for a joke...huh...shocking!

I am not a Coulter apologist. She doesn't need apologists. That would be a full time job for everyone, and I have enough work to do already. She can certainly handle this. She didn't apologize, she just said it was a joke, and it was. period. It's never boring, at least admit that!

Sorry mom!!!!

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Liberals/Democrats Need To Give An Answer

Don't dodge the question..

How is it that you can support people like Al Gore who points his finger in the face of Americans yet fails to practice what he preaches? Why do you get a pass on your own rules?

I know the answer. Just ask if you want to know.

Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm Getting A Pet



Because the adoption process takes way too long.

This has been a rerun. (because it was funny...to me anyway, and I run the blog)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Tales Of Liberal Irony: Music Edition

I have a message to Chris Cornell of the former band Audioslave. It's important to note that Audioslave is a "supergroup" made up of former members of Rage Against The Machine combined with Chris Cornell who fronted the band Soundgarden. Rage Against The Machine promoted communism any chance they got. Tom Morello the guitarist often wore a t-shirt that proudly said "commie".

Now we find out the real reason why Audioslave broke up. Here is the story...
The recent departure of frontman Chris Cornell from Audioslave was originally described as due to "irresolvable personality conflicts as well as musical differences" but sources tell the New York Post that the split had more to do with money than anything else.

According to the source: "Chris was unhappy with the financial arrangement within the group - he wrote all the music, yet the other three bandmates took an equal share in the multimillion-dollar publishing rights."
So my message to Chris Cornell is... Man what did you expect!?

The guys from RATM are admitted communists. That's what commies do. They split the money up equally whether they did their part or not. Because why should you have more than them even though you are doing most of the work.

Stupid lazy commies!