Saturday, September 29, 2007

Friday, September 28, 2007

Tom Cruise Building Bunker To Protect Against Alien Invasion

Not joking...
Hollywood star Tom Cruise is planning to build a bunker at his Colorado home to protect his family in the event of an intergalactic alien attack, according to new reports.

The Mission Impossible actor, who is a dedicated follower of Scientology, is reportedly fearful that deposed galactic ruler 'Xenu' is plotting an evil revenge attack on Earth.Read the rest...


I for one am not ignoring Tom Cruise on this. I think he may be right. I saw Xenu at McDonalds last week and he looked ticked off. His QP with Chee was totally cold in the middle, and I heard him say... "The earth will pay for the injustice that has been forced this day upon the great Xenu."
So I too am beginning work on my own bunker. I suggest you do the same. Scientology might just have the last laugh. Or it might be total BS...But I'm not taking that chance!

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Who Was Your Favorite: Milli or Vanilli?

Maybe this video will help you decide...


Personally I always respected the chest bumping and shoulder pads.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Fun Facts

-- The U.S. is turning into Mexico's living room. I heard there is legislation in the works to change the Star Spangled Banner's opening lyrics to "Olé Can You See...". Can't wait!

-- I'm going to eat a block of cheese and take a laxative and let them fight it out to see which one wins.

-- People say that TV was much more innocent in the 50's. But I saw a lost episode of Leave It To Beaver the other day where Beaver stabbed a guy at school in the chest on account of the kid was giving him the business.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Fun Facts

--Rene Steven's favorite planet is Shaturn.

--The Wichita River Festival had to stop having the antique bathtub race event, not because of financial reasons, but because of the toxic water and the dead bodies floating in the river.

--Chiropractors are quacks. They charge 80 bucks to pop your neck safely. So what? I pop my own neck everyday for free. Who cares if I can't feel the right side of my body and sometimes I swallow my tongue?

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Perfect Day

Radio talk show host Glenn Beck is sounding the alarm on what is being called "The Perfect Day".

What is "The Perfect Day"?
It’s the day that Americans are killed on an unprecedented scale. It’s the day that no one, not even our children sitting in their classrooms at school, are safe. It’s the day that seemingly isolated incidents all converge into the greatest threat this country has ever experienced or imagined. It’s the day that the Islamist jihad against the West begins in earnest. It’s “The Perfect Day” – and it’s only perfect if you’re a terrorist.
According to the National Terror Alert website "Bits of evidence are popping up in newspapers across the country but few people are connecting the dots."
Evidence including:


--Internet Chatter

--Training Videos Confiscated In Terrorist Raids In Iraq and Afghanistan

--17 Missing School Buses in Houston

--Stolen School Radios In The Northwest

--Information provided by detainees at Guantanamo

--Arrests In Florida of 2 Middle Eastern Men Who Boarded A Public School Bus

--Reports of individuals survailing schools from various locations around the county.
The fact that this has not yet happened is a testament to Bush's war on terror. Our defenses have stopped any and all attacks since 9/11. People do not realize how incredible that is! But our time is running short. They are not going to try another 9/11. Instead they are going to go with a small scale tactic except on a grand scale. Supposedly it will kill more Americans than 9/11. "Radical" Islam is seeking a new world where only followers of Allah are alive...Well that leaves little room for us.
So we can be like Rosie, Sean Penn, Sally Field, Susan Sarandon, and many others and stick our heads in the sand and pretend war isn't reality...Or we can be preemptive. I'll choose to do the latter thank you!

I think we've had it good since 9/11, but that is no reason to play dumb now.

On a side note... Did any of the liberals even listen to what General Petraeus even said?
If you go back and watch the report you will note that he says we've killed more al qaida then we can count in Iraq. That's great news! We cut and run now and we lose the fact that we get to kill them over there instead of on our land.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The Zit

True story. I woke up yesterday morning and my knee was sore. I walked into the bathroom groggy and confused as to the strange knee pain. I looked down and examined my left knee and realized I had a zit smack dab in the middle of my knee. What in the world is going on with that? A rogue zit said "you know what forget the face..that's so overdone..I'm heading south!"
And now I am forced to put Clearasil on my knee cap. Most people get acne. I apparently get Ac-knee. You know you are getting old when pimples start migrating south and disrupting your ability to walk normally. Do they make mud masks for your knee area??

Friday, September 14, 2007

Hand Signals For Turning

Remember? They used to teach us how to signal by hand if your on a bike or if you are in a car that is without a signal.
Yesterday I was driving down a busy street and the guy in the car in front of me stuck his arm out the window for a second or two and then suddenly changes lanes and nearly crushes a car full of old ladies.
Does anyone remember what the hand signals mean? Straight out means left turn I think and arm pointed at a 45 degree angle means right turn??
How confusing is that? You have to think quick on your toes.
I saw the guy stick his hand out the window and for a second I swear I thought he was raising his hand because he had a question. But apparently his hand signal was the universal symbol for "I'm about to plow into some old ladies!"
Hand signals never have worked.
You are better off rolling down your window and screaming at the top of your lungs.. "I'M TURNING LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Few Observations...

* How come none of us can sneeze gracefully? I have nearly given people heart attacks when I sneeze. Others seem to let out this weird squeak. It's messed up.

* I saw a report on current fashion trends and it said that the fanny pack is back in style. Apparently Kansas is way ahead of the curve on this one. How else am I supposed to hold onto my big turkey leg at the state fair if I have my wallet and my cell phone in my hand?

* As a kid I was one of the idiots that believed the rumor that if you had a star on your Tootsie Pop wrapper that you won another free Tootsie Pop. If it's true then the Tootsie Corporation owes me so many free suckers! Apparently this rumor has been around for many years.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Movie Soundtracks

Most of my friends know that I have an obsession with the scores from popular movies. To me they represent classical music that has emotion injected into it. Actual modern instrumental music lacks emotion and therefore is boring. Movie Soundtracks have no choice but to draw out an emotional response becuase they are made to enhance different scenes in a movie.
I had always liked the music part of going to the movies. Most people got lost in the scene but I often got distracted by the music. And once Dances With Wolves and Braveheart came out well that was all she wrote for me...I was hooked big time!

Here are 50 of my favorites.

1. Braveheart (James Horner)
2. Titanic (laugh if you will, it's good stuff.)(James Horner)
3. The Green Mile (Thomas Newman)
4. The Untouchables (Ennio Morricone)
5. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (Ennio Morricone)
6. Shawshank Redemption (Thomas Newman)
7. Dances With Wolves (John Barry)
8. Saving Private Ryan (John Williams)
9. Field Of Dreams (One of my all time favorites!)(James Horner)
10. The Passion Of The Christ (John Debney)
11. Signs (James Newton Howard)
12. Unbreakable (James Newton Howard)
13. The Sixth Sense (James Newton Howard)
14. Rudy (Jerry Goldsmith)
15. Driving Miss Daisy (Hans Zimmer)
16. October Sky (Mark Isham)
17. Jack The Bear (James Horner)
18. Road To Perdition (Thomas Newman)
19. Lady In The Water (James Newton Howard)
20. House Of Sand and Fog (James Horner)
21. The Village (James Newton Howard)
22. Meet Joe Black (Thomas Newman)
23. The Rocketeer (James Horner)
24. Glory (James Horner)
25. The Mission (Ennio Morricone)
26. Last Of The Mohicians (Randy Edelman)
27. Gladiator (Hans Zimmer)
28. The Cider House Rules (Rachel Portman)
29. 300 (Tyler Bates)
30. Legends Of The Fall (James Horner)
31. Edward Scissorhands (Danny Elfman)
32. Band Of Brothers (Michael Kamen)
33. Saving Private Ryan (John Williams)
34. Jurassic Park (John Williams)
35. Crash (Mark Isham)
36. Schindler's List (John Williams)
37. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Tan Dun)
38. Robin Hood: Prince Of Thieves (Michael Kamen)
39. Once Upon A Time in America (Ennio Morricone)
40. A Beautiful Mind (James Horner)
41. The Piano (Michael Nyman)
42. Armegeddon (Trevor Rabin)
43. Pearl Harbor (Hans Zimmer)
44. Apollo 13 (James Horner)
45. The Perfect Storm (James Horner)
46. American Beauty (Thomas Newman)
47. Platoon (Georges Delerue)
48. The War (Thomas Newman)
49. The Hunt For Red October (Basil Poledouris)
50. Chocolat (Rachel Portman)

If you want a good site about film soundtracks with reviews and information visit filmtracks.com.

Friday, September 07, 2007

A Couple Of Observations...

* I can't believe that we are having to choose our next president from the biggest group of buffoons ever assembled. Not one of them jumps off the page at you. Where is the democrat's Kennedy? Where is the Republican's Reagan? If it weren't so dangerous to our well being then it might be comical. Why isn't Ralph Nader running this time? If ever he stood a chance, this might be his year!

* How are they going to end the show Lost with dignity? If you are a regular watcher then you know that the writers have done an excellent job. However they don't seem to know how to wind it up or even how to explain what the island is really all about. I think really they only thing they can do is end it with the Harlem Globetrotters getting shipwrecked on the same island. And how come they can blow up a hatch but they can't make a radio out of a coconut?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

11 Year Old Vacuum Expert


Trust me, this kid knows what he's talking about.
Also, when I met David Oreck, I didn't get nearly as excited.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Youth Pastor Gets Tongue Tied

WOW! You have to feel sorry for the guy! Talk about your all time church flubs...


Any pastors that want to share preaching horror stories???

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Ronald Reagan Speaks

You and I have a rendezvous with destiny. We will preserve for our children this, the last best hope of man on earth, or we will sentence them to take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. If we fail, at least let our children and our children's children say of us we justified our brief moment here. We did all that could be done.
-- Ronald Reagan

Who will make us proud again?