Tuesday, October 30, 2007

The Buzz

Here is some upcoming stuff I am looking forward to...

* M. Night Shyamalan has a new movie coming out in August of 2008. It's called The Happening. It is going to be an end of the world thriller and rumor has it that it will be back to scary for M. Night. Rumor also has it that it will be his first R-rated movie. I am a huge M. Night fan, and I am one of the rare people that think he hasn't made a bad movie yet. This is gonna be a good one. This blogger has seen the script and says it is scary and possibly M. Night's best work yet.

* Phil Hendrie's new radio show is getting better. It was terrible at first. But he just needed to get warmed up in his new format.

* Demon Hunter has a new CD on the way called Storm The Gates Of Hell. I know, this music is not for everyone. I just happen to love their message and witness for Christ, also the way they combine hardcore metal and melody.
Here's a sample of every song on the new album....

Friday, October 26, 2007

9/11 Truthers

There is a large faction of people that think that 9/11 was an inside job. They call themselves the 9/11 Truthers. These are the same water heads that think we faked the moon landing and that JFK was shot by anyone besides Lee Harvey Oswald.

What a strange phenomenon. People have so much stock in our government that they think it would be capable of pulling off the biggest facade in history. These guys in Washington can't even go to the bathroom without peeing all over the front of themselves, how could they possibly orchestrate a cover up on a worldwide scale?

Think of how many people would have to be in on the scheme.

And then the big question... Why? What did the U.S. have to gain. Our economy took a rather large nose dive because of all the new regulations that had to be enforced.

You have to be a special kind of retard to believe this nonsense. Yet very high percentages of the population think the U.S. Government, the New World Order, The Jews, The Shriners, the AARP, or the Oprah Book Club decided it was time to kill mass amounts of their fellow Americans that just happen to be going to work that day.

Stupid.

I wouldn't even bring this up except they are all over the news interrupting speeches by prominent politicians by yelling out their BS.

Watch out for these anti-government factions. They are dangerous.

Trust me I am the last person to trust the government. But I'm also not an idiot.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Signs The End Is Near

* Britney Spears.

* The price of milk.

* Country music is still popular.

* Hillary's man-do haircut.

* Lots of morons think that our government attacked our own selves on 9/11 using "remote controlled commercial airplanes" and then blamed it on Muslims. As if our government is smart enough to pull that off. And as if we all didn't see what we saw on that day.

* The popularity of Harry Potter. The nation is hung up on a story that should have stopped being interesting after we entered the 2nd grade.

* Go-gurt.

* Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network.

* The fact that you almost have to be able to speak Spanish in order to go to Walmart on a Saturday night. precios bajos siempre, siempre.

* When Walmart starts accepting the Peso...we know the end is here.

Friday, October 19, 2007

The Best Of.....

The Best Arm Wrestling Movie Ever Made....



The Best Child Video Game Prodigy Movie Ever Made....



The Best Movie About Creepy Medieval Midgets Ever Made....



The Most Realistic and Probable Movie Plot Ever Created....



The Best DVD That Inspires Me To Have At Least One More Handful Of French Fries....

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Demon Hunter -- Undying

At first glance these guys might seem like creepy metal heads. But the lead singer is a gentle giant who is on fire for the Lord. The lyrics of this song are outstanding...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Reasons Not To Vote For The Democrats

* Questioning their lack of patriotism is fun and honest. If you vote for them it gives them the false sense that they actually are patriotic.

* I like saving babies and I like killing whales. Democrats like the opposite.

* Supposedly they are the smart ones... However studies have shown that they are only smart enough to find ways to fool themselves into thinking they are smarter than they really are. And that's not smart.

* They hate Walmart. Walmart owns Sam's Club. Where else would I find the 55 pound drum of mayonnaise that I so desperately need?

* Hillary Clinton is a snobby, yellow bellied, pinko, commie. Plus she shot my uncle. I can't vote for that.

* Hippies smell.

* Be honest, who would you rather hang out and play cards with...George Bush or Hillary Clinton? Sure Hillary Clinton might be a better talker but you know she cheats at Uno. GWB just seems more fun, he messes up words like I do, he's human. I wouldn't have to keep checking if my wallet were still there all night.

* Most democrats would sell their first born child into slavery if it gave them one more percentage point of your hard earned tax dollar. I wish I were joking about that one.

Friday, October 12, 2007

UFC


Ultimate Fighting...Yeah....I'm pretty much hooked. As usual I'm late to the party. But I'm catching up. I even know what a triangle choke and an arm bar are now.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Fun Facts

* Blogger.com is now asking us to blog for the environment. You know...I'm about half sick of this environment. Somehow it lasted "billions" of years with volcanoes exploding and cow flatulence and dinosaur poop, and then suddenly I peel out a couple of times in my Saturn LS2 and the whole thing goes to pot. I'll blog for the environment when the environment stops being such a wuss.

* Every morning there are still guys standing outside the Jiffy Lube holding signs along the street. And every morning I roll down my window and throw half a can of diet coke and a bagel at them, but they never break character...now that's dedication.

* I heard a rumor that Rene Steven's favorite season is not winter like we all originally thought...but actually shummer. That's just what I heard.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Saturday, October 06, 2007

The Funniest Moment In Televsion Sitcom History?

Chuckles Bites The Dust -- Mary Tyler Moore Show.

**Scroll down to skip the explanation**

From wikipedia...
This episode was ranked #1 on TV Guide's The Greatest Episodes of All Time. It was directed by Joan Darling, and written by David Lloyd, who received an Emmy for "Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series."

Chuckles Bites The Dust is an episode of the television situation comedy, The Mary Tyler Moore Show which aired October 25, 1975. In that episode, Chuckles the Clown (the star of WJM's children's show) is hired as the grand marshal for a circus parade, after news anchor Ted Baxter is ordered by Lou Grant to turn it down. Chuckles is to dress in character as Peter Peanut. Unfortunately, Chuckles is spotted and trampled by an elephant, and he dies from his injuries (all off-camera). Mr. Grant announces the tragic death to the newsroom staff. The unusual circumstances of Chuckles's death provokes a wave of jokes, especially by Lou and Murray Slaughter ("thank God he wasn't Billy Banana or a Gorilla would've peeled him to death.")[1] Everyone in the newsroom begins collapsing into laughter, with the exception of Mary, who is appalled by her co-workers' lack of respect for the deceased.

At the funeral, all of the attendees are properly somber. All except one.....

Thursday, October 04, 2007

A Wasp Story

This is based on a true story...

The following happens between 5:01 pm and 6:59 pm.

For the past 2 weeks there have been 2 wasps just hanging on the ceiling of my apartment complex hallway. They were alive but you could tell they were close to being dormant0. But a wasp is a wasp. They are mean, ugly, and further more, they are jerks. We don't mess with their nests, they don't come in to our apartment complexes. They are those we don't speak of.

I observed them from a distance. I felt that I needed to strike at them first but it needed to be when they least expected. They never would move unless I walked past them. I just knew they were biding their time to attack. I figured they knew they were dying and were looking to go out in a blaze of glory. I had some ideas of my own. Ideas of wasp torture. Maybe some waterboarding to see if one of them would talk.

Finally I summoned the courage to get a closer look. They moved more as I got closer so I backed off. I decided to suck it up and move in for the attack. I had some bug spray in my apartment. I went in and grabbed it and came out and took an offensive stance.

I sprayed Wasp #1. Wasp #1 got very very angry and decided to make a buzzing noise that caused me to run and hide in my apartment. I came out a few minutes later to find him on the ground obviously struggling to continue but with no strength left.

several minutes later I returned for wasp #2. I sprayed wasp #2 and he just sat there for a second. And then he too got ticked off and he made a lunge at me. I jumped back. My heart was beating a mile a minute. Luckily wasp #2 fell before he could reach me. I moved in for the kill.

I felt avenged. So I began to move into my apartment when I heard a tiny buzz behind me. I slowly turned to see Wasp #1 still alive. He was looking right into my eyes. Suddenly he pulled up his stinger and looked at me and I could swear I heard him say...
"You killed my brother, you die now!"
He lunged at me and drove that stinger deep into my left shoulder. I fell to the floor. I heard his tiny wasp voice say
"It didn't have to be this way. We were just sitting there minding out own business. Why?"
The last thing I remember seeing before I passed out was the wasp flying off into the hallway light.

When I came to I got up and staggered around the hallway. Eventually I found the wasp that stung me over in the corner..dead. He had taken his own life.
I pointed at him and laughed...

I came in and had pork chops and applesauce. The point of the story is this old saying...I think I have it right.... Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on you again, fool me a third time and it's still your fault and in my opinion you need a time out.

Only about 14% of the preceding story was true.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Christians Calm Yourself!

Leading Christian conservatives are considering voting 3rd party if the republican nominee is not as pro-life enough.

I am fed up with Christians in the U.S. who are willing to die on the pro life hill. I am whole-heartedly against abortion, but I don't think it matters who we have in the White House on this matter. George Bush is completely against abortion, however he has not been able to stop it. He has appointed conservative judges to the Supreme Court yet they vote all over the map.

We cannot win the abortion fight through legislation anymore. The country is divided too much already. If we want to lower the abortion rate then we need to do it at the one-on-one individual level. Where there is an abortion clinic we need to put up pro-life clinic that is bigger. That's how we lower the abortion rate. Forget whether or not a candidate is 100% pro-life...that will not help us.

Voting 3rd party in this election ensures that Hillary Clinton will be the next president of the United States. Her pro-abortion stance is the last thing I'm worried about. Her communistic viewpoint far outweighs that. The fact that we will have a woman president far outweighs that as well. The fact that she is a weakling when it comes to protecting us from attack far outweighs her abortion stance.

Let's not vote 3rd party and toss away everything to die on that hill. You know the hill; It's the one that makes us FEEL self-righteous.

WHY?
Why are Christians still holding out for a Christian utopia on this earth. Yes, the Lord chose to bless this country beyond words. But we have taken that blessing and used it to fool ourselves into thinking that we can legislate away our countries sins. We cannot. We have to get back to the grass roots and dump the Christian coalition mentality. Jesus saved us...James Dobson did not. Dobson is a good man. But he cannot bring revival to the U.S. Trust me, if Billy Graham can no longer do it...Dobson doesn't stand a chance. It's time we abandon ship and bring as many people with us as we can because this world, the U.S. included, is going down. Electing a pro-life candidate will not bring it back. So let's not blow it and hand Hillary the Presidency on a silver platter.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Korn Kicking It Old School

Can you imagine being in this mosh pit? I get claustrophobic just looking at it.
This one goes out to Mark...

Some points to ponder on this one...

Jonathan Davis is not an attractive fellow. The above video is living proof.

"I can see I'm going blind"????? Can you also 'Hear that your going deaf?'

And how much more vertical can fieldy the bass player get his bass?

As Mark can testify, Korn practically invented the lean-over-one-leg-kick-head bang. They are the Sam Cooke of the head bang.

Brian "Head" Welch (The one in the video with weird little hair braids) left the group last year, gave up heroin and became a born again Christian. He even has a book out and a website called HeadtoChrist.com.