Monday, January 28, 2008

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Liberal Code

* Don't die. The only thing that matters in life is staying alive. Make sure to love your neighbor if, and only if, they can help keep you alive for longer. If they cannot then they are useless to you. After this life there is nothing, now is all that matters.

* Stand for nothing. If you stand for anything whether it be morals, or ideals, then you look bad when you break that moral or ideal. So make sure you stay away from aligning yourself with anything.

* Tolerate everything except for people that stand for things.

* Toe the line. Drink the kool-aid. If George Clooney or Barbara Streisand says that something is bad then it must be bad. They were in movies or sang and stuff and that's hard so they should be respected. All good actors are liberals... and all good liberals are actors.

* The opposition is always racist. When you can't defeat a non-liberal during a discussion or a debate then best tactic is to play the race card. It's always a winner to compare your opponent to Hitler. Because saying it makes it true... Especially if you can get a group of people to say it.

* War is bad.. Unless of course a liberal is in the White House. Then it is good.

* Women are equal to men... That is of course unless they live under Muslim rule then they are cattle. We would do something about that but then that might cause us to violate a couple of our other mantras like 'don't stand for anything' and 'don't die.'

* Lie. Lying is often a means to an end.

* Imagine there's no heaven, no religion, no countries. It is our opiate for our masses.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Fun Facts

* I heard a rumor that they are adding a new lifeline to the game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: You get to use Google for 30 seconds.
Regan B. came up with that idea.

* There is a virus sweeping through England that causing explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting. It's a shame to see all that delicious British food go to waste.

* Apparently the only three movies that the USD 259 Wichita school district ever allowed to be shown in class were Where The Red Fern Grows, The Never Ending Story, and Stand and Deliver. Or if you were in one of my sister's classes...Hellbound Hellraiser.

Friday, January 18, 2008

A Couple Of Thoughts

* This site was down for a day or so because someone forgot to renew the domain name. My accountants will hear from me. And Brad Pistotnic is my lawyer so look out!

* True Story.. Last night in the Aerostructure Technician Lab (I like to make it sound real professional!) we were all working on our projects. I heard a scream....a girl yelled "OH MY WORD!!!" and I look over to see that a guy had slipped and drilled through his finger. The drill bit went through the bone, came out the other side and then the drill bit snapped off in his finger. He went to the hospital with a big broken drill bit sticking out of his left hand. I have pictures on my cell phone...it was nasty!
Welcome to my new world of metal shavings, unions, and drill bit accidents!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Monday, January 14, 2008

A Few Observations...

* I mentioned last week that I work in a store where a lot of elderly people come to shop. Well this week was elderly fest. At one point their were probably 4 very elderly couples walking towards the entrance pretty much at the same time. It looked like a scene out of a zombie movie. I swear it was almost scary.

* Hillary wants us to vote for her because she's a woman, Obama wants us to vote for him because he's black, and Edwards wants us to vote for him becuase he is neither of those.

* I can't decide which republican I am going to vote for to lose to the democrats yet.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I Am Student

I am once again a college student. It's a tech school, which for me is probably the best way to go. Plus I got a scholarship so that's where I'm going.
But this is intense.
I get up each morning at 7 am. I'm at work by 9 am. I work until 4:30. I immediately high tail it over to school. I have to be in my seat by 5 minutes before 5 pm or else I can be docked a grade. I am in class for 5 hours each night. I get home by 10:30 pm.

Yet somehow I found time to write this blog.

I bet your asking..."Is this blogger a magician? Is he on steroids? Just how does he pull it off?"

Good question. The answer is...

I'm a magician on steroids!

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Saturday, January 05, 2008

The Elderly Are Good People...Sometimes

My current profession involves working with a lot of people who are older. I am one of those old fashioned guys that believes we should honor and respect these that are older and truly much wiser than we are. However...
Old people are getting meaner. I can promise you that! I have seen it. The "greatest generation" is old now and they have stopped the tradition of not being complainers.
Old people now complain and moan about everything. And I blame the rise of technology. They are young enough to just have gotten in on the edge of the computer age. So they finally in their lifetime they had better toasters and washing machines and cars as they hit their mid 30's. And now they are bitter if things don't happen quicker. And face it we all are! But now we have to accommodate them because "they are entitled to it."
That's right! The liberal-whacko idea of entitlement has passed on to the older generation.
I have so many people that get upset and even swear at me because we don't have a senior citizen discount. It can get pretty comical. I mean what am I supposed to say? "Congrats on not dying yet, here's 10% off?"

You know what this means don't you? It means that my generation is going to be sooo annoying when they get older.

Stupid liberal entitlement mentality!!!!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Things I Will Do in 2008

  • I will vote for president. I think pretty much the whole lot of them are a bunch of idiots..but I guess I have no choice.

  • I will read my Bible more. I simply need it!

  • I will get sued by the RIAA for reading the liner notes more than once on a CD after I purchased it. You get one time!

  • Get rid of junk in my apartment that I can never use. For instance that Entertainment book from 1998.

  • I will not buy any Michael Buble, U2, Fallout Boy, or Souljah Boy CD's.

  • Eat more fish.

  • Sing more in the shower.

  • Less midget jokes and more albino midget jokes.

  • Try not to lose a limb or one of my digits in a machine accident.

  • Buy less stuff.

  • Write more original stupid material on this blog and post less stupid un original videos. Unless I get lazy.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008