Tuesday, December 30, 2008

If I Had A Time Machine

* I would go back and tell Nixon not to let the press get to him. The man was actually a great president but the media had it in for him from day one and they slowly wore him down. Makes me want to go and break into hotel rooms myself.

* I would go to Columbine High School on April 20, 1999 and put a bullet through the heads of those two pieces of garbage before they laid a finger on any students. Not because I want to be some kind of hero, but because those two should have never been born. Same with the Va. Tech shooter. Life is too sacred to allow it to be shattered like that if you can stop it.

* I would go to Abraham Lincoln and let him know that I already saw the play he's going to attend and it sucks...Maybe bowling would be a better idea for tonight.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Back From Vacation

Just got back from visiting the GF in Missouri. I took some great photos that I will share with you now. It was quite a 3 day trip as you will see. Missouri is beautiful....















Hmmm... on second thought, I don't even recall bringing my camera. Strange.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Bush's Legacy

I have talked to many Bush haters recently. I listen patiently as they tell me how Bush knew of 911 before hand, of how he hates minorities, and how he ruined the country.
That's all just stupid propaganda that is taught in liberal circles.

But listen up folks...

911 happened and the Muslim extremists declared war on the Western world.

Can you tell me one time, just once, since then, when we have turned on the tv or radio and heard news of any bomb, big or small going off in the United States since that time?
Have you heard of any terrorist killer taking over buildings inside the U.S. in the past 7 years since 911?

Bush's legacy is secure. He went over and crippled the human garbage networks that were pulling off these bombings. You can believe they won't forget Bush's legacy. Neither will I.

To me I proudly support and approve of his time in office.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Friday, December 19, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Fun Facts

* Have you heard the new Amy Grant single "Silent Night" Ft. Lil Wayne? It's off the hook.

* The Day The Earth Stood Still is a movie about aliens coming to earth to warn us that we are destroying the planet with our pollution. That's stupid. I am working on a movie now where WE travel to an alien planet to open a Walmart in order to show them that they could be saving way more on toilet paper and socks and stuff.

* Have you seen the episode of The Brady Bunch that was banned by the censors? It's the one where Greg shot Peter in the head over a game of dice gone wrong. It's a powerful episode but rare and real hard to find.

Monday, December 15, 2008

President Bush Dodges Shoe

President Bush is the man! Watch as he dodges the shoes as if they were nothing. Think about this folks.. He's in a country where militants and terrorists have come to cause havoc with guns, bombs, and death and they would love nothing more than to take him out. So an arab stands up and starts hurling objects at the president. He doesn't just start running. In fact he barely moved. I love the smile on his face as he ducks. It almost looked like he liked it.
Now.. Think about president Clinton or Obama... I can just imagine them running screaming from the room. I know I would be scared.
Check this out...

Sunday, December 14, 2008

A Couple Of Insults I Heard Recently...

* You know what? I hope you fall off the edge of a cliff and just before you hit the ground Superman catches you and then flies up and drops you from higher.

* You are so ugly they could push your face into dough and make gorilla cookies.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Shamelss Attempt At Promoting Traffic To TLAT

Sometimes you can attract people to your site by coming up with just the right phrase so that when people search on Google it comes popping up and they check it out.

I was talking this over with a friend. We were talking about Barack Obama's scandals. I mean is he really a citizen?? And then the subject changed to Jay Leno's cars, I mean how many does he have, and which kinds?
Suddenly we began to speak of tsunami videos and lists of the top ten funniest movies of all time. I mean the conversation was all over the place.
So then he tells me he watches the show Lost. And he tells me he knows lots of Lost secrets and hints. Also he watches South Park, but I don't, so he kept listing South Park Episodes. Boring!

Finally I got him to shut up by telling him about upcoming movie trailers.

What an odd conversation it was.

And I think that's all...

Oh...

911 conspiracy theories!

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Invention Ideas

These are free for the taking...

* Washer-Dryer -- I've brought this up before... Why have we not invented a washer/dryer that does both in one machine? I'm talking you don't have to take the clothes out and put them into a different unit. Can someone explain to me if we have these yet, and if not.. Why not?

* Washer-Dryer (Alternative) -- If we can't do the before mentioned idea. Why don't we invent a washer and dryer machine where they are still washed in separate units. However the washer sits on top of the dryer.. and when the clothes are done washing a door opens and the clothes drop down into the dryer where the drying cycle is started and completed.

* Cat Hats -- Okay, this one is stupid, but it honestly came to me in a dream so I feel the need to talk about it. Newborn kittens hit their head a lot. They don't look where they are going and they run into stuff. It's true. So I dreamt that I invented a tiny helmet for cats. It had a strap that went under the chin and two slots on top for the ears. I even had a name for it in my dream.... Cat Hats™ Now they are safe... and adorable!

* Pizza Burgers -- We have veggie burgers. We have taco burgers. We have turkey burgers. Why hasn't Pizza Hut invented the Pizza Burger?

All I ask when you invent these is just a mention of this blog. Now get to it people!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Yet More Phil Hendrie Show Quotes

Classic stuff!

I got the quotes from hendriepedia.com

Ted Bell --
Ted's was the first steak restaurant to bake potatoes in aluminum foil.

Phil, I have a private jet. He's standing there telling this girl he flies first class... I'm Ted Bell. I have a private jet. He's not impressing anybody

I'm sorry, Phil, I've got an emergency. We have a baked potato festival coming up on Sunday.


Lloyd Bonafide --
Okay, That tears it!

I'll run over the top of you and every member of your family.

I'm going to slit my wrists with an electric can opener.

I'm sorry that I threw a cat at a man's head, but he tossed me a bone, and a man doesn't do that to a Korean War veteran.

You know what? You burn me up more than a baseball-sized hemorrhoid.


Steve Bosell --
(To a lady caller) The next time you meet a guy online, make sure you send a picture of how fat you are...

I'd like to say Roy Rogers would've given up Trigger for the western wedding outfit I had on.

Oh, okay, so sticking my head in the oven isn't bad enough, you guys want me to turn it up to broil.

I dont know if you've ever seen a coyote, but let me tell ya, its hard to hold your mud.


R.C. Collins --
She had a face on her, that'd make a freight train take a dirt road.

When it gets tough, I go to the rifle!

You can't expose me to the gayability.

Basic training just rolls off my knife!


Jeff Dowder --
(about Chinese eyes) I'm talking about the fact they have slits for eyes, man, all they see is net... their vertical vision is about an inch, but their horizontal vision-- it goes on and on and on, and on and on, and there's science to prove on it, too. For instance, you and me, we look at the world basically television shape, okay, the Chinese look at it: letterbox!